At the time of writing (February 2025), I am delivering a ten-week undergraduate course in Transpersonal Psychology. This question arose in one of the early classes, and I thought the answer might be of wider interest.
Spiritual development is often described as a movement beyond the ego, but this does not mean destroying the ego or rejecting the self. Instead, it is about relating to the self differently—loosening the grip of a narrow, self-protective identity and opening to a deeper, interconnected way of being. To understand why this shift is central to spiritual growth, we must first examine what the ego is, why it becomes limiting, and how different traditions approach the path to freedom.
The Ego: Necessary but Limited
The ego is the mental structure that constructs and maintains a sense of self. It is not inherently negative—without it, we would lack a coherent identity. The ego differentiates us from others, gives us the ability to navigate the world, and helps us define who we are through thoughts, memories, and beliefs. It enables us to set goals, assert boundaries, and function in society.
However, the ego is also fundamentally defensive. It is shaped by fear, comparison, and the need for control. From early childhood, we develop an image of who we are—our strengths, weaknesses, roles, and values. This identity helps us make sense of life, but it also becomes a rigid filter through which we experience the world. We see ourselves as separate and distinct from others, which reinforces a fundamental tension: life is unpredictable, impermanent, and uncontrollable, but the ego desires security, permanence, and control.
As long as we operate entirely within the ego’s framework, we remain trapped in self-protection. We seek validation, status, and certainty. We cling to our opinions, our possessions, and even our pain, because they reinforce our sense of self. This leads to constant striving, anxiety, and dissatisfaction—the ego can never truly be secure because the world does not conform to its expectations.
Ego in Spiritual Development: The Crisis of Meaning
For many people, spiritual development begins within an ego-driven framework. In childhood and adolescence, religious or spiritual beliefs often serve the ego’s need for order and certainty. Many adopt faith as a way to explain the world, provide moral rules, or offer a sense of divine justice (e.g., good is rewarded, bad is punished). This transactional spirituality aligns with early cognitive and emotional development—faith is about being right, safe, and accepted.
However, as spiritual development deepens, there is often a rupture—a crisis of meaning that exposes the limits of ego-based thinking. This may come through personal suffering (loss, failure, disillusionment) or intellectual questioning (realising that reality is more complex than our inherited beliefs). At this stage, people face a choice:
- Double down on the ego’s defences (clinging to rigid beliefs, avoiding difficult questions, blaming others).
- Surrender the ego’s need for certainty and open to a deeper, more fluid experience of faith and meaning.
This is the turning point of spiritual growth. If one remains in egoic faith, religion becomes about control, authority, and exclusion—who is “right” or “wrong,” who is “saved” or “lost.” But if one moves beyond egoic identity, faith shifts from certainty to mystery, from self-protection to openness.
Freedom from Ego: The Expanding Self
Freedom from ego does not mean losing one’s individuality. It means expanding one’s sense of identity—recognising that we are not isolated beings, but deeply connected to others and the world. Different traditions describe this in various ways:
- Christianity: The shift from pride and self-will to humility and grace. Jesus’ teachings emphasise surrendering the self (“Whoever loses their life for my sake will find it”—Matthew 10:39).
- Buddhism: The concept of anatta (no-self)—the realisation that the self is an illusion, created by thoughts and attachments.
- Hinduism: The transition from ego-consciousness (ahamkara) to Atman—the deeper self that is one with Brahman (the universal consciousness).
- Mysticism (Sufism, Taoism, etc.): The dissolution of self into divine unity—experiencing life not as a separate individual, but as part of the infinite.
This transition is often gradual. At first, one may begin to see beyond the ego’s self-interest—practicing compassion, forgiveness, and letting go of rigid attachments. As development continues, the individual may experience moments of ego-dissolution—feeling deeply connected to others, nature, or the divine in ways that transcend words.
Transcending Ego: A New Way of Being
As one moves beyond ego-driven spirituality, faith is no longer about right and wrong, reward and punishment, belonging and exclusion. Instead, it becomes about presence, connection, and direct experience. Here are key shifts that occur:
| Ego-Based Spirituality | Transcendent Spirituality |
|---|---|
| Seeks certainty, clear answers | Accepts mystery and paradox |
| Defines self through belief and identity | Sees self as fluid and evolving |
| Focuses on personal salvation or success | Emphasises compassion and service |
| Defends beliefs and identity | Embraces openness and humility |
| Seeks control over life and outcomes | Moves with life’s flow, surrendering control |
| Experiences separation (self vs. other) | Experiences unity and interconnectedness |
At the highest levels of spiritual development, the ego does not disappear, but it loses its dominance. The individual becomes less reactive, less self-focused, and more present. This is why spiritual teachers—from Jesus and the Buddha to contemporary mystics—describe enlightenment as a kind of freedom. It is not an escape from life, but a deeper presence within it, unburdened by the constant fear, striving, and self-judgment of the ego.
Why Does Ego Transcendence Matter?
Spiritual growth is not about rejecting the self but about freeing oneself from the ego’s prison. The ego seeks separation, control, and validation, while deep spirituality moves toward unity, surrender, and direct experience. This shift does not happen overnight—it unfolds through life’s challenges, questions, and moments of awakening. As we loosen the ego’s grip, we begin to live not from a place of fear and self-protection, but from a place of love, openness, and presence.
This is why spiritual traditions, across cultures and centuries, all point to the same truth: freedom is not found in clinging to identity, but in letting it go.
My book “Beyond the Self” was published via Amazon last year:
stay connected with friends and family
